Health

Daily Mail has all the properties it attributes to cannabis

THE Daily Mail and its website are addictive, paranoia-inducing and a gateway to more extreme forms of behaviour, according to experts.

Ebola to be contained within Apprentice house

IF anyone in the UK is going to get ebola it should be the contestants on BBC1’s The Apprentice, according to COBRA.

Huge success for Bring a Virus to Work Day

THE second annual Bring A Virus To Work Day has seen more than 19.5m new infections across the UK.

Ebola survivor has list of crazy diseases he wants to catch

THE British Ebola survivor is to return to Africa because he has another four insane diseases on his to-do list.

Many surgeons awake during surgery

SOME surgeons have been found to be fully conscious and responding to stimuli while performing operations.

Britons demand hangover consistency

DRINKERS are furious about being unable to predict the severity of their hangovers.

Food good for you

REGULARLY eating food protects against death, it has emerged.

Men warned over loom penis bands trend

THE trend for men wearing woven elastic bands around the penis is affecting male health, experts have warned.

Facebook user speaks only in passive-aggressive statements

FACEBOOK addict Wayne Hayes has become so reliant on the site that he communicates entirely in leading statements.

Craving for health articles ‘a sign of mental deficiency’

A DESIRE to read tawdry articles about health may be a sign that your brain is not working properly, doctors have warned.