Health

IF you want to be fit you have to keep doing exercise forever, it has emerged.

THE NHS has admitted some forms of heart disease are caused by the alignment of planets in the outer solar system.

THE government has urged women to save money on sanitary products by using Jaffa Cakes.

PEOPLE who claim to enjoy skunk would secretly like some normal weed that doesn’t make them feel as weird.

LUNGS look horrible regardless of whether their owner smokes, it has emerged.

ACROSS the UK, millions of people are earning second incomes by turning their bodies into 24-hour mucus production facilities.

THE government's contemporary plain packaging for cigarettes has made them desirable once again.

PEOPLE with colds who claim to have the flu have been reminded that the two things are entirely f*cking different.

A WOMAN on a new diet has already seen her social engagements slimmed down dramatically.

A MAN has given his girlfriend a satisfactory massage completely by chance.