Health

EVERYONE in Britain will be fighting something off until further notice.

CHILDREN have confirmed that they will find sugar wherever it is hidden because they love it.

SCHOOLCHILDREN smoking vapour-based cigarettes are being mocked by their peers, it has emerged.

THE government is to remove health advice from rolling tobacco packets because the people who buy them simply do not care.

PUTTING a calorie count on alcohol labels is not annoying or patronising, it has emerged.

THE British Medical Association has admitted that doctors have not been trained in ‘brain stuff’.

THE Honey Monster is suffering from type 2 diabetes, it has emerged.

ACCIDENT and emergency services can now only be accessed via the internet, the government has announced.

NOBODY at Heathrow looks fit and well, according to doctors screening for Ebola.

THE decline of smoking has left many Britons unsure when sex has finished.