Health

A PUBLIC health warning has been issued after Covid vaccines were linked to fast-spreading outbreaks of Brexiter schadenfreude.

WITH mandatory quarantine being introduced for incoming travellers, home secretary Priti Patel offers an exclusive tour of one of the new quarantine hotels.

SWIMMING in cold water during the winter months is the latest wellness fad that people are sick of f**king hearing about.

THE health secretary has told the EU that British cats, dogs and hamsters will get the vaccine before they consider shipping spares across the channel. 

SINCE last March, Denys Finch Hatton has been warning that lockdowns never, ever work. This is his last ten months.

BORED of coronavirus and endless lockdowns? Why not convince yourself and anyone unlucky enough to be in your WhatsApp group it’s a hoax?

A MAN is afraid of what he might become after going out on a run and enjoying it.

ANYONE who catches Covid is to be rewarded for their efforts with £500, cash in hand, no questions asked, to spend on whatever they want. 

YO. Matt here. You may have noticed I consider myself pretty damn cool. So after my Covid scare, here’s how I’m self-isolating with ATTITUDE. Party on, dudes!

IT wouldn’t be a national emergency if Britain didn’t get misty-eyed about World War Two. Here’s how we’re shoehorning memories of clobbering Hitler into 2021.