Health

THE British government is in the grip of a chronic addiction to prescription painkillers, experts claimed last night.

ACUPUNCTURE is extremely effective at making tiny holes all over the body, the biggest ever study of the ancient Chinese remedy has revealed. 

CIRCUSES across the world were celebrating last night after a bearded lady give birth to a baby girl.

AMY Winehouse has blamed her emphysema on years of working as a coal miner in South Wales, her father Mitch revealed last night. 

AN increase in health complaints among lesbians suggests they may be doing it wrong, the British Medical Association said last night.

CRAVINGS for alcohol are best reduced by alcohol, alcoholics said last night. 

BRITAIN has given up on dental appointments and decided to settle for having quite bad teeth, according to a new report.

PEOPLE who experience traumatic events should just shut up, researchers said last night.

FERN Britton has launched a new weight loss programme based on a strict combination of fruit, pilates and six hours of major abdominal surgery.

STATINS are a wonder drug which allow doctors to spend an extra three afternoons a week on the golf course, the British Medical Association said last night.