Health

EXPERTS have warned the Wikipedia blackout will cause widescale brain injuries as people try to know things.

THE latest government healthy eating campaign has made UK citizens feel okay about dying soon.

A 38-YEAR-OLD male has confounded medical experts by visiting a post Office in December without getting anyone's cold.

THE risk of Norovirus means that oysters are unsuitable for anyone lacking a pair of balls, it has been claimed.

NHS hospitals could soon be staffed with doctors at weekends.

SHOWERS are taking twice as long as 20 years ago as people desperately try to scrub off the 21st century, say researchers.

HEALTH secretary Andrew Lansley is to sit next to hospital patients, looking at them while they sleep.

EXPERTS have warned the dense fog over greater London will be used as a metaphor.

RECREATIONAL sedative ketamine can induce the false belief of coolness in well-heeled teenagers, scientists have claimed.

HEALTH secretary Andrew Lansley has pledged that nobody should wait more than 18 weeks before their local hospital is closed.