Health
I am the greatest thing of all time, says bacon
BACON has asserted that it is the greatest and all other food is its bitch.
UK health record paves way for new round of bothering you
THE UK's health record will lead to a new era in being bothered constantly.
Both ends, says Queen
IT is literally exploding out of both ends, Buckingham Palace has announced.
Febreze ads trigger hepatitis epidemic
ADVERTS for Febreze 'fabric refresher' have caused numerous cases of hepatitis.
Everything to be labelled with terrifying images of death
ALL products will soon feature graphic imagery illustrating how they might kill you.
Fat people should be 'encouraged' to hate themselves, say doctors
DOCTORS have called for a new approach to obesity which gently encourages overweight people to despise the very idea of themselves.
Horsemeat: French finally blamed
AN inquiry has been launched into why it has taken a month to blame the horsemeat scandal on the French.
You're on your own, says Food Standards Agency
THE Food Standards Agency last night admitted there is nothing more it can do.