Health

SLEEPING solidly for around 150 days is the key to feeling on top, according to ursine sleep experts.

IN a bid to encourage exercise, calorific food must now be sold in packaging that weighs at least 30kg.

WITH death rates at their lowest ever level, the government is encouraging you to die.

FOR Christ's sake stop touching each other with your filthy hands, experts have warned.

COMPLAIN all you want, Switzerland doesn't care, it emerged last night.

REPORTS that a cat-borne parasite can seriously harm humans have been greeted with indifference by cats.

EXTREMELY low standards in your choice of partner are the key to a good sex life, it has been claimed.

MALE hair loss-related anxiety can be cured by growing a pair of balls and getting on with it, it has emerged.