Food

GOT a craving for roast beef, crispy bacon or a Thai curry? Prepare to be let down by these snacks whose descriptions are flagrantly taking the piss.

A MALE amateur chef is delighted with himself after obtaining all the five herbs and spices that exist.

A MAN from Batley has been given a substantial fine for cutting his bacon butty in a manner unbecoming of a Yorkshireman.

ARE you hoping to boost your sex drive and your chances of getting laid by ostentatiously eating aphrodisiac foods on a date? Here’s how it might backfire.

EVERY self-respecting cereal has a cartoon mascot and you’re horny in the morning. Here’s the order in which you’d do them.

FANCY having some fast food delivered because you can’t be arsed to bake a potato? Here’s how you will suffer karmic retribution for being a lazy shit.

HAS your cousin become a vegan since last Christmas? Here's how they will cancel your beloved nan's traditional Boxing Day trifle layer-by-layer.

CHRISTMAS Dinner contains a multitude of delicious components, but now we're all through it which is the best?

FOOD scientists have confirmed that the best way to eat turkey is in quick little handfuls while standing in a kitchen illuminated only by the fridge.

IT IS 1pm on Christmas Day and there are only shit chocolates left, the nation has confirmed.