Food

KING Charles III has confirmed he is exactly the man the country already suspected him of being with the unveiling of his Coronation quiche.

THE small shelf for stock which has been damaged or is going out of date is the only section where prices are as they should be, shoppers have confirmed.

A RESTAURANT has deliberately given vegan dishes stupid play-on-words names to make its herbivorous clientele feel like idiots, it has emerged.

ARE you a class betrayer desperate to slither your way into the ranks of the middle classes? Here’s how to do it with your favourite condiments.

A WELSHMAN is tucking into a traditional St David’s Day feast of daffodils, it has emerged.

WHO needs tomatoes and peppers when we’ve got delicious British vegetables like swede and cabbage? Here is Roy Hobbs’ guide to avoiding traitorous EU produce.

YOU need a bit of salad to make your meals less carb-intensive, but can you find a cucumber f**king anywhere? Try your luck with our interactive game.

RINGS of fried dough have begun behaving as if they are expensive gourmet desserts because they have icing and crushed biscuits on top.

THE totally tropical soft drink beloved by barely anybody passed away peacefully yesterday evening, it has been confirmed.

COULD your sibling be getting more of something than you? Is that the end of the world? Here’s how to ensure life is precisely fair.