AT any dinner party, one’s thoughts turn to that awkward gap after the main course. And yet pudding, like a five-way sex romp, is impossible to enjoy alone.
As such it is necessary to delicately and persuasively float the idea to the whole group that they could indulge in a toothsome something from the dessert menu or indeed get naked and rut. Fortunately, there are similarities in propounding both:
‘I’m just checking in case anyone else wanted one’
Whether an eight-person gang bang or a tiramisu, ask in a casual, open tone of voice: ’Nobody fancies one, do they?’ If the reaction is negative – ‘You’ve just devoured a whole venison loin, you glutton’ or ‘Get your eyes off my 24-year-old Guatemalan girlfriend, you pig’ – climb down by saying that you were just being a gracious host by making sure nobody left unsatisfied.
‘Oh come on, you deserve it’
Guests will be tempted but want to make sure everyone’s on board. Listen out for weak excuses like ‘with my figure?’ ‘I had one yesterday’ or ‘I would, but my wife’s told me I need to cut down.’ Be prepared to privately assuage worries about accidentally getting stains on a dry-clean-only dress.
‘It’s so much more fun to share’
Remind those attending of how valuable an experience is when it’s collective, whether creme brûleé or a daisy chain. It’s only guilty and shameful when it’s just you! Suggest to your companions that a selection on the table will allow everyone to get stuck in.
‘Doesn’t that sound just heavenly?’
Entice and allure. Plant the idea of how delicious it will be. Say ‘I can never resist sticky buns?’ or ‘I hear the cream pie is to die for’. Alternatively, simply enter the room and announce that your soufflé has risen and everyone’s welcome to feast.
‘I know you love a sweet mouthful, Melanie’
If the group still isn’t entirely sold, single out a weak link. Be bold, announce that you’d definitely like something to thrill the jaded palate, glance over at a particular guest and say ‘Melanie, I know you’ll join me.’ And within moments she’ll cave in, everyone will follow her and the evening will be so much more delectable.
