VEGANS are being sold ordinary nut assortments with numbers written on as specialist vegan advent calendars, it has emerged.
A gap in the advent calendar market is being filled by unscrupulous traders buying seasonal mixed nuts for £2.40, numbering them from one to 24 with a Sharpie, and selling them on for £18.95.
Committed vegan Helen Archer said: “This is callous exploitation of those of us averse to chocolate, sugar, milk products and happiness.
“They know we won’t balk at the price, because as we’re naturally sanctimonious and believe it morally superior to pay over the odds for anything labelled vegan.
“But instead of opening a tastefully recycled paper calendar with irregular doors containing Goji berry oatcake treats individually parcelled in hessian sacks, I was handed a small bag of nuts, chillingly wrapped in the kind of plastic net that kills endangered seabirds.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love certain aspects of Christmas as much as any non-vegan, but I felt preyed upon by capitalists that are almost as bad as carnivores, actually. And I can’t even eat them because I’m worried Sharpie ink is sourced from cuttlefish.”
Market trader Roy Hobbs said: “What’s the problem? Crack the shell, get a nut.”
