'We're called MILFs,' angry middle-class women of a certain age tell Wallace

SEETHING middle-class women of a certain age have told Gregg Wallace that the phrase he was looking for is ‘MILFs’. 

The MasterChef presenter has outraged female celebrities of a particular age and social strata by making inappropriate remarks and then, in attempting to defend himself, failing to acknowledge their recognised sexual categorisation.

Kirstie Allsopp, property presenter and fantasy figure, said: “We have a name, Gregg. Want me to spell it out to you, like you do with your needless second ‘G’?

“The implication that younger women respond well to an aggressive old bald man talking about his cock is bad enough. The assumption that common women your own age would love it is classist. But to dismiss my hot cohort? Unforgivable.

“Who does he think watches MasterChef? It’s not Gen Z. It’s women like me at their peak of desirability stuck on the sofa because they’ve got kids upstairs. It’s the women of Joseph dresses, of the Range Rover Overfinch, of Waitrose.

“Yes, we found your sexual remarks horrifying. Yes, we’ve all got previous with 40-something gym rat divorcees coming on to us in the workplace. But we are not ‘women of a certain age’. We are MILFs and proud.”

She added: “Of course, the young call us ‘Karens’ because we complain about wankers like you. Perhaps they could have a little think about that.”

Man referring to woman who ghosted him after two dates as 'ex'

A MAN whose date cut all contact after their second meeting is unashamedly referring to her as his ex-girlfriend. 

Oliver O’Connor went on two dates with Grace Wood-Morris in 2022, the second of which ended early after he placed an uninvited hand on her posterior, yet openly refers to those evenings as a ‘relationship’.

O’Connor said: “Our love simply burned too bright to last. But my lonely nights are less so knowing that for a moment she was my girlfriend and that we were two souls blissfully entwined.

“We weren’t together for long  – five hours, 36 minutes in total – but that changes nothing. Romeo and Juliet takes place over but a few days. And I know so much about her from the evenings we shared, and also from her Instagram.

“I cannot imagine why she sundered our love. On our last call, her train entered a tunnel. Perhaps she never emerged? Regardless, she’s the reason I’ve been single ever since.

“I go on a date, end up explaining I’m emotionally numb after a previous relationship, the woman asks details like ‘how long was it?’ and then respectfully withdraws, I assume daunted at the prospect of living up to my ex. Understandable.”

Wood-Morris asked: “Who? The arse-grabber?”