Environment

A WOMAN enjoying a daylight commute will only realise the true price of her devilish deal with time at around 4pm today.

JUST Stop Oil has crossed a line by smearing cake on a waxwork of King Charles. It’s time to come down hard on them, and it's causing unusual sensations in my trousers.

WATER companies have explained to customers on the south coast that they are not pumping sewage into the sea so much as firing it at the hated French.

BRITAIN’S excellent water companies have decided to fill our waterways with raw sewage. Here’s how not to get a hideous disease next time you go for an outdoor swim.

PEOPLE talk some shit about the hot weather. I mean, who’s ever injured themselves jumping off a cliff? Water’s really soft. Here’s more stuff they’re just trying to scare you with.

THE hosepipe bans coming into force will give Britain's most annoying citizens countless ways to be pedantic bastards and tinpot Hitlers. Here’s how they'll make the most of it.

GOOD morning. As a meteorologist I create the weather, and last week my globalist paymasters ordered a record-breaking heatwave. Here’s how I did it.

WORRIED about droughts sweeping the UK next? Cheer up - we just laughed off the punishing drought of 1976, says increasingly desperate climate change denier Roy Hobbs.

A MAN with an underwhelming cock is making up for it by polluting the planet as much as he possibly can, he has confirmed.

YESTERDAY’S high temperatures caused a man from West Yorkshire to morph into a hot-blooded Continental.