Environment

What the f**k were your neighbours up to in yesterday's insane heat?

THE UK was apparently hotter than 99 per cent of the earth this week. Fact. So what abnormal behaviour did your weird neighbours get up to during the heatwave?

Hot

TOO hot, baking scorching hot-hot-hot stuffy boiling night and day, reports indicate.

This is all Greta Thunberg's fault, grumbles Britain

THE people of Britain are blaming the heatwave on Greta Thunberg because she told them it would happen.

Tits out: the positive side of climate change, by the Sun

WHAT a scorcher and Britain’s loving it. Worried about climate change, like a Swedish schoolgirl? Consider the upsides, explains the Sun.

How to get up to nine minutes sleep a night in a heatwave

STRUGGLING to fall asleep in unbearable temperatures? Get a whole nine minutes of kip by following this practical advice.

How to be a climate change denier while sweating your bollocks off

FINDING temperatures in the mid-30s a bit much to deal with? Here climate change ‘skeptic’ Roy Hobbs explains why it’s completely fine and not at all worrying.

Fans can't save you now, say scientists

A CHEAP electrical device stirring air about is not going to stop anyone being very hot, scientists have confirmed.

Plastic grass, and ten other ways to be aggressively unfriendly to the environment

SICK to death of the bloody environment? Here’s how to rub it in the greenies’ faces.

We've left the EU, so why are we sweltering in their unbearably hot weather?

ASK any Brit what they know about abroad and they’ll tell you it’s too hot. So why are we suffering their continental temperatures?

Hot Londoners urged to bitch about it even more

THE rest of the UK has urged Londoners suffering record heat to bitch about it even more than they already are.