Environment

GEESE have been heavily criticised after footage emerged of them walking like Nazis.

SPIDERS are shagging in your house right now and there is nothing you can do about it.

A CAT has been left confused by a ‘lost cat’ poster because the cat in it is quite hot.

PIGS are disgusted with humans for pretending that vegetarian bacon made of rehydrated soya protein could compare to their delicious flesh.

A DOG has confirmed the cancellation of a trip to the garden because of poor weather conditions.

BRITAIN is divided over whether or not it is cold enough to turn on the heating, it has been confirmed.

A FAT Golden Retriever claims his excessive size is just puppy fat despite being nine years old and finishing every meal with a trifle.

BRITAIN'S cats have demanded more corners and edges for them to rub their hairy little cat faces against.

A MASSIVE toad has his area of riverbank totally under control.

NATURE experts have reported a rare eyewitness sighting of a Yodel delivery driver.