Celebrity

Celebrities now landing planes wherever they feel like

CELEBRITIES are so detached from everyday life they are landing their planes wherever they want, experts have claimed.

Bill Gates 'would give it all up to be cool for just one day'

THE world’s richest man has admitted he would swap it all for 24 hours of coolness.

Harrison Ford: “I'll stop when I've ruined all of my films”

The announcement of a Blade Runner sequel, starring me, has sparked debate about whether it can live up to the original. It won't.

Old lady sent to care home after fall

MADONNA’S family has made the difficult decision to send her to Rydean Manor residential care home in Sussex.

Rolf Harris stripped of Stylophone

ROLF Harris has been stripped of his honorary Stylophone.

Unretouched photo of Beyonce shows true reptilian form

A LEAKED, undoctored photo of Beyonce shows the singer with a scaly four-legged body and a spiny crest.

Social media mourns death of Rasputin

THE apparent sudden death of Grigori Rasputin has provoked a mass outpouring of emotion on social media.

Kanye quits music to focus on being a twat

RAPPER Kayne West has quit the music industry to devote all his energy to twattish behaviour.

GCHQ less intrusive than Myleene Klass

A COURT has ruled that GCHQ illegally spied on private emails but, unlike Myleene Klass, did not share them with 460,000 followers on Twitter.

McCartney irritating whole new generation

PAUL McCartney has become the first artist to irritate three generations of music fans after appearing on Rihanna's new single.