Celebrity

NIGEL Farage has resigned as leader of UKIP and been shipped to the island where all Nigels meet their end.

PRINCESS Charlotte Elizabeth Diana was named after Prince Charles' greatest enemies, it has emerged.

YOU should be like this eerie 40s-style family, it has been confirmed.

FORMER Hear’Say singer Myleene Klass has triggered the End of Days after accidentally spelling out God’s true name.

CROWDS outside St Mary’s Hospital in West London have been hurling abuse at any non-royal newborns.

UNAIRED Top Gear footage will be edited to show Jeremy Clarkson regenerate as writer Sir Salman Rushdie. 

TIMELESS love stories can now begin with extra-marital boning, it has been confirmed.

MOST of the food at Piers Morgan’s 50th birthday party remained uneaten, it has been confirmed.

ACTIVIST and author Naomi Klein’s hair looks too good, it has been claimed.

THE Duchess of Cambridge has been advised that interest in her forthcoming baby is hovering around zero.