Celebrity

GUESTS on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs are actually abandoned on a remote Pacific atoll, the BBC has revealed.

FORMER celebrities are lobbying search engines to stop them fading into cultural oblivion.

PRINCE George has been introduced to the world of country sports by shooting a butterfly.

ALL male BBC presenters have some form of penis adornment, it has emerged.

CHERYL Cole has described her marriage to a Frenchman as ‘perfect’, because they have no idea what they are saying to each other.

THE death of Tommy Ramone has left most people who wear Ramones t-shirts emotionally unaffected.

IRISH fans of country star Garth Brooks have been offered a stout BBC pundit as a replacement.

ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.

THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.

CHRISTIAN Bale has become permanently stuck in character as a gifted yet pretentious actor.