Celebrity

COLONEL Tom Moore is thrilled to hold the same military rank as the Duchess of Cornwall, he has confirmed.

PIERS Morgan is itching to get back to being the most obnoxious prick in the UK, it has emerged.

A GROUP of A-list celebrities have gotten together to shut the f**k up, with all the money raised going to charity.

EAMONN Holmes shared dangerous 5G conspiracy theories on This Morning, but what far-fetched conspiracy explains him still being in f**king work?

THE Queen has instructed Britain to stay indoors, sup a few cans, watch telly and keep its head down until ‘all this bollocks is over’.

CHILDREN taking daily PE lessons with Joe Wicks are physically healthy but at least 30 per cent more common, parents have reported.

AS CORONAVIRUS has shown, things can always get worse. For example, if any of these six spoke up.

THE QUEEN is to return to work as a truck mechanic as she did during the war, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.

YES, I moved my Corona-hit family to Devon, but I needed to be safe so I could annoy you with my creative and crafty tips. Here’s how to ensure your self-isolation is a jolly old time.

HI, I’m big-haired idiot Tim Martin. When I’m not running crap pubs I’m being awful to my staff. Here’s how to be an absolute bellend like me.