Celebrity

THE Duchess of Sussex is to be taught how to be an ‘effective royal’ by learning how to wave correctly.

MEGHAN Windsor, the Duchess of Sussex, has outlined plans to move the county to just off the coast of California.

THE Duchess of York is back at the royal wedding venue stuffing canapes into a bin bag, it has been confirmed.

Thanks to the spontaneous decision of some tuppenny ha’penny TV actress and a wastrel who happens to be sixth in line to the throne, I will spend the best day of my life hiding the fact that I’m incredibly pissed off.

MEGHAN Markle will show her commitment to Britain by carrying around an inflatable penis on her hen night.  

MEGHAN Markle has responded to media focus on her relatives by pointing out that the Windsors are way more messed up.

JACOB Rees-Mogg has outlived whatever purpose he once served and will be stuffed and kept in a glass case, it has been announced.

DONALD Trump has selflessly stepped in to replace Meghan Markle's father at her wedding this weekend. 

BRITAIN has been ordered to look at this delightful photograph and thank the Royal Family for existing.

A MAN is ready and waiting to share his supreme boredom at the forthcoming royal wedding as soon as it comes up.