SAUDI Arabia can only be considered neutral group for peace talks if your definition of neutrality encompasses murdering journalists, claim commentators. 

US-Russian peace talks over the Ukraine war began today in Saudi Arabia, which in terms of preventing unnecessary bloodshed and promoting democracy is not a flawless host.

International observer Dr Helen Archer said: “There’s something about a dictatorship meeting a superpower-turned-ugly on the territory of an oil-rich nation ruled by an absolute monarchy that doesn’t sit quite right.

“Like when Reagan met Gorbachev it was in Reykjavik which makes sense, because nobody wants trouble less than Iceland. They’re the first country kicked in the nuts when war breaks out.

“But Saudi Arabia? Murders journalists in its actual embassy, kidnaps princesses, runs a horribly repressive religious regime and imprisons rape victims. ‘Neutral’ isn’t the first word I’d reach for.

“I’m just concerned that, in this atmosphere, proposals like ‘Russia keeps 19 per cent of Ukraine and in return, the US takes all its mineral wealth’ will seem reasonable, you know? Like King Salman will say ‘this is most merciful and kind’ then order lunch.”

She added: “Though obviously it’s the ideal location to hold a World Cup. All that searing heat and sand.”