Business

Government powerless to intervene in non-banking industry

THE government has confirmed there is absolutely nothing it can do to save the non-London-based steel industry. 

McDonald’s launches doomed non-burger

McDONALD’S  has unveiled its latest food item that will fail because it is not a burger.

London tenant evicted for paying same rent as last month

A TENANT in a London flat has been evicted for attempting to pay the same amount in rent for two consecutive months.

Facebook applies for housing benefit and tax credits

FACEBOOK’S small tax bill means it is eligible for a range of benefits for people on low incomes, it has emerged.

Hurry up and die, Britain tells Tesco

BRITAIN has asked Tesco if it could stop dragging it out and just die.

Public to buy Lloyds and destroy it

ORDINARY Britons are to buy Lloyds bank so that they can send it back to the hell from which it came.

All companies now have punk ethos

EVERY company is now claiming to have a 'punk ethos' that drives it forward.

Everyone in hot desking office sits in same place every day

EMPLOYEES have responded to an innovative office hot desking policy by developing fierce territorial instincts.

Terrified Shell flees Arctic as quickly as possible

OIL giant Shell has refused to discuss what it found deep below the surface of the Arctic.

Couple planning epic supermarket crawl

A COUPLE will spend Friday night attempting to do all the big five supermarkets in a single shopping trip.