Business

THE Bank of Mum and Dad is run by total bastards just like all banks, it has emerged.

LOW-EARNERS are facing criticism for making practically no contribution to taxation when compared to the extremely rich.

BHS has had a last-minute reprieve after being bought by Northern grandmothers.

THE UK has properly relaxed for the first time in three years following news that Tesco has returned to profit.

AN OFFICER worker who unwittingly used a forbidden ‘special mug’ is now doomed.

THE secret to becoming immensely wealthy is to not tell anyone about it, according to a new book.

STEEL worker Tom Logan has thanked the government for not saving his job so that he can focus on writing a romantic comedy screenplay.

EVERYONE in Britain is now unable to do the thing they are paid to do after a four-day weekend.

THE UK is buying in six weeks’ worth of groceries to get them through Easter Sunday when all supermarkets are closed.

SPORTS Direct owner Mike Ashley has admitted that he may be forced to discount prices in his stores for the first time.