Business

Proper-shaped bananas arrive in UK

CRATELOADS of sensibly-shaped bananas that were banned under the EU have arrived on British shores.

Jubilant Leave voter 'will catch up with the financial news later'

AN OVERJOYED Leave voter is celebrating the win and can catch up on all that financial stuff later, he has confirmed.

Tesco to stop being passive-aggressively ‘open at night’

TESCO has announced plans to stop grudgingly allowing customers to weave through its all-night shelf-stacking sessions.

Ordinary workers unsure whether they’d rather be f**ked over in or out of the EU

ORDINARY workers are torn over whether they would prefer being exploited by corporations inside or outside of the European Union.

Nobody knows what ‘digital’ supposed to mean

MEDIA workers talking about ‘digital’ do not have the slightest clue what it is, according to new research.

Microsoft expands empire of pointless annoyance

SOFTWARE irritant Microsoft has added to its portfolio of woe with the purchase of LinkedIn.

Corporate drone hates himself for laughing at joke about company

A COMPANY yes-man has been sickened by his hypocrisy for laughing at a joke about his employer, it has emerged.

Interns gaining valuable going-out-to-get-lollies experience

INTERNS in high-flying businesses across the country are earning crucial on-the-job experience of being sent out to get Soleros.

Every office has one person who is not a dick

THERE is only one person who is okay in any office, it has been claimed.

Every member of smiling Pizza Express team considering job options

EVERY member of the dedicated team launching a new Pizza Express is looking for alternative work, it has emerged.