CRATELOADS of sensibly-shaped bananas that were banned under the EU have arrived on British shores.
Children as well as young adults not even born when Brussels issued the ban marvelled as the crates were broken open at Dover and they were able to marvel at the curved bananas they had only seen in picture books.
Through a telescope stationed on the white cliffs, President Jean-Claude Juncker could be seen jumping up and down in fury on the Calais coastline, but to no avail.
Tom Booker, 65, wept openly as he was handed a sample of the forbidden fruit: “I was in Berlin when the wall fell but this is a hundred times better.
“Only last week, if the European authorities had caught me eating a banana like this in public, I’d have been thrown in jail. Now I can eat it without fear.
“In fact I’m going to go down the pub and ask for a pint of beer rather than a Euro-litre, the way I’ve had to since 1975.
“They talk about recession, disinvestment, downgraded credit ratings, the pound to worth roughly a nickel in six months time, and our children facing a future working as novelty chimney sweeps for our future Russian and Chinese overlords.
“It’s all worth it for this bunch of bent bananas.”
