Business

Windows was just a ‘nasty trick’ all along, says Gates

THE entire Windows operating system has been a vindictive practical joke since its inception, Bill Gates has admitted.

Swearing no longer counts toward character limit, confirms Twitter

OBSCENE language will not be considered part of Twitter’s 140-character limit, it has been revealed.

Entire office seems to be doing some sort of roleplay

EVERYONE in an office appears to be playing out a cliched role in a slightly over-dramatic way, a new employee has noticed.

Holiday handover note just thinly veiled list of grievances

AN OFFICE worker's holiday handover email is just a passive aggressive list of reasons she hates her job, it has been revealed.

Male receptionist sent home for not wearing codpiece

A RECEPTIONIST at a leading City firm has been sent home without pay for refusing to wear a jewelled leather codpiece.

Can you put all this in an email for me? asks manager who doesn't know what else to say

A MANAGER has asked one of her team to ‘put all this in an email’ because she could not think of anything else to say.

Money environmentalists defend tax havens

CASHOLOGISTS have argued that tax havens offer the last unspoiled refuge for untamed profits.

Bank of Mum and Dad 'f**kers just like the rest of them'

THE Bank of Mum and Dad is run by total bastards just like all banks, it has emerged.

People who earn f**k-all blasted for paying no tax

LOW-EARNERS are facing criticism for making practically no contribution to taxation when compared to the extremely rich.

BHS saved by consortium of Northern grans

BHS has had a last-minute reprieve after being bought by Northern grandmothers.