Alcohol

A MAN has maximised his drinking efficiency by sticking strictly to Monday-Thursday, leaving his weekends free for more rewarding pursuits.

BEEN out for a few bevvies? You have a number of options for disturbing your partner’s sleep when you finally stumble home.

HAVING a night out with your middle-aged mates? Expect these arseholes to turn it into a complete f**king nightmare.  

A MAN thinks all the staff at his local pub knowing his name makes him a well-loved neighbourhood face rather than a probable alcoholic.

A VITAL research project where scientists drank beer and had sex with partners of below-average attractiveness has proved beer goggles to be a myth.

A MAN is lavishing attention on his hangover and giving it everything it could possibly need no matter what the expense.

THE benefits of going sober are many and awful. Here are the dismal upsides to quitting alcohol that aren't really worth the effort.

NOBODY believes it when they say they are only going for 'a couple of pints'. But this common lie means very different things to men and women.

DUE to a quirk in the laws of physics and alcohol, some very stupid ideas make a lot of sense on a Sunday at 1am. Including these.

BOOZING before midday is an activity that separates the merely convivial from the genuinely alcoholic. Except on these occasions.