Alcohol

A MAN who claimed he was only staying out for one pint has disturbed and frightened his friends by sticking to his promise.

A WOMAN who has not drunk for more than three weeks has been alarmed to find she can still make f**king awful decisions without touching a drop.

BOWEL cancer isn’t a risk of drinking you’re worried about, but not being pissed enough by 11pm is. Here are the real risks of drinking ranked by how shitfaced you are.

Win one of two cases of our limited edition Daily Mash beer, created in collaboration with Northern Monk, in our quiz about the three prime ministers of 2022. 

FEELING like a worthless, pathetic weakling after ordering half a pint? Start rebuilding your dignity with these tips.

KNACKERED, hungover and miserable after a mammoth drinking session last night? Here are the sober bastards you’d like to wish a very horrible new year.

HEAD hurt, head throb, skull f**king splitting in two being hacked at with rusty axe, nation confirms.

CHRISTMAS has a wonderful range of drinks that are completely acceptable to start drinking from 9.30am. Here are some of the finest.

A FAMILY who opened a bottle of prosecco for Christmas Eve have descended into a raucous night of heavy boozing.

VISITING your parents for Christmas? Chances are you’ll end up in a pub with old schoolmates either in the same boat or who never moved away. Get through it.