A MAN who ordered a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc for the table is completely confident in his heterosexuality, it has been confirmed.
Julian Cook was out for dinner with a group of friends when he boldly reasoned that, because everyone was having fish or chicken, there was no need to order red.
Cook said: “I had this realisation: why should we all drink some full-bodied Malbec or our own separate beers when white wine would go well with all of our dishes?
“This wasn’t even in someone’s house, either. Just four straight blokes at an Italian, publicly enjoying a bottle of white.
“My mates were gobsmacked, of course. But I’ve come a long way since Year 8, when the school bully used to call me ‘Julia’. I’m married to a gorgeous woman, I’ve got two kids – why shouldn’t I be able to order what I want?”
Cook’s friend Tom Booker said: “The bastard just went and did it. We were all terrified of looking less than one hundred percent deeply masculine and he looked the waitress right in the eye and asked for a delicious, crisp Sauvignon. What a guy.”
Waitress Lauren Hewitt said: “They were clearly straight because only highly fragile heterosexual men would so obviously think themselves heroic for ordering white wine.
“Also, they were dressed horribly.”
