Sport

NORWICH City owner Delia Smith has turned down the club's promotion, insisting the Premier League is too fancy.

STEVEN Gerrard is catatonic after realising what he has done with his life since 1998.

LIVERPOOL captain Steven Gerrard has promised to end his final game at Anfield by razing the stadium to the ground.

ENGLAND’S cricket team is refusing to call upon Kevin Pietersen despite his ability to hit the ball.

IPSWICH Town winger Paul Anderson is under pressure to pay for goal celebration damage running into hundreds of millions.

THE failure of a horrible manager and offensive chairman to achieve success turns conventional football wisdom upside down, say experts.

LIVERPOOL FC manager Brendan Rodgers has announced that he is sacking the club after yet another disappointing season.

WATFORD supporters cannot wait to be treated like dirt by the giants of the Premier League.

TIM Sherwood will forego traditional cup final 'mind games' in favour of subtly inferring that Arsene Wenger is unable to down a pint.

THE absence of English sides from the Champions League quarter-finals has seen a disturbing increase in tactics and short passing.