Sport

University of Bedfordshire enters Boat Race

THE University of Bedfordshire has sent a team to compete against Oxford and Cambridge in tomorrow’s 161st boat race.

Once-a-year punters still awaiting news of last year’s horse

ONCE-A-YEAR gamblers have yet to hear anything about last year’s Grand National flutter and believe it may still be on the final furlong.

Pellegrini safe from sack for next hour and 18 minutes

MANCHESTER City manager Manuel Pellegrini is safe in his job until at least 12.53pm today, the club's owners have confirmed.

Harry Kane burns out

HARRY Kane's England career is over after he burnt out just 80 seconds into last night's match.

Plucky Lithuania set out to injure as many players as possible

THE Lithuania side are looking forward to going in studs-first on England’s big names in tonight’s Euro qualifier.

Fishermen only do it because they hate fish

FISHING is not a sport but an attempt to eradicate fish from the world, fishermen have confirmed.

World Cup final clashes with Amazon’s Christmas last order date

THE final of the World Cup in Qatar has been disastrously scheduled on the same day as the cut-off date for Amazon orders.

Champions League quarter finals 'are an ancient myth'

AFTER yet another failed attempt to reach the quarter-finals of the Champions League, British clubs have concluded they do not exist.

Sunderland in dazzling display of no-touch football

SUNDERLAND wowed fans with their unique brand of no-touch football during a 4-0 home defeat to Aston Villa.

Rooney breaks first two rules of Fight Club

MANCHESTER United's Wayne Rooney flouted the first two rules of Fight Club by releasing a video of him being knocked out by Phil Bardsley.