Sport

THE Champions League has returned after a lengthy break and nobody at Arsenal is sure whether they have gone out yet.

ARSENE Wenger has been warned that he has until 2029 to win the Premier League or face the consequences.

LEICESTER City supporters are physically unable to jeer Claudio Ranieri, however bad results get.

A RUGBY fan has insisted that a big rugby event is currently taking place, despite nobody having heard anything about it.

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn are to trade roles in a bid to transform the fortunes of their respective teams.

DAVID Moyes has been urged to tone down his palpable disdain for Sunderland Football Club.

GARETH Southgate has enjoyed what he will later agree was the happiest day of his stint as England manager.

JOSE Mourinho has blamed his team’s poor home form on a vengeful ghost.

FANS of Chelsea have announced they will retire a song mocking Steven Gerrard at the end of the 2018-19 season.

HOPES are high that Manchester United can restore the nation’s morale by losing heavily against Arsenal this weekend.