Sport

GARETH Southgate has enjoyed what he will later agree was the happiest day of his stint as England manager.

JOSE Mourinho has blamed his team’s poor home form on a vengeful ghost.

FANS of Chelsea have announced they will retire a song mocking Steven Gerrard at the end of the 2018-19 season.

HOPES are high that Manchester United can restore the nation’s morale by losing heavily against Arsenal this weekend.

FIFA has turned down a request to stop the England team disrespecting the England crest by wearing it.

JOSE Mourinho has been reclassified as the Adequate One to reflect with his recent coaching CV.

PAUL Pogba thought he was joining Man City but didn't want to make a fuss by mentioning it before, it has emerged.

GARY Neville has been sat on the roof of Old Trafford since midnight, police have confirmed.

STEVE McClaren has been unable to explain how he came to be managing a football club again.

THE 2017 edition of FIFA for the Xbox has a more realistic manager mode which allows players to take bungs in Far East hotels.