Sport

THE England team have been told to leave the World Cup and return home as heroes before it all turns sour. 

A MAN watching the World Cup says he has no grudge against Germany despite passionately supporting any side playing against them.

A MAN has announced he will be leaving the office at lunchtime to watch the game, even though it begins at 7pm. 

A WORLD Cup wallchart pinned to a bathroom wall has received its final entry just four days into the event.

THE England team has a very good chance of winning the World Cup if you have consumed enough alcohol, it has emerged.

TODAY’S World Cup opening ceremony will feature a monstrous replica of Russian president Vladimir Putin’s ‘magnificent’ penis.

TEAMMATES and fans have no issue with Harry Kane’s new tattoo commemorating England’s upcoming group stage exit, they have confirmed.

SUNDERLAND'S relegation to League One means there is a good chance they will have left the Football League before Britain leaves the EU, it has been confirmed.

ARSENAL has confirmed Arsene Wenger will officially leave the club 13 years ago.

CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.