Sport

DARTS players will be drug tested to ensure they are properly pissed.

ENGLAND are through to the semi finals of an irrelevant competition that's not even as old as Prince William's youngest child, but, how much do you know or care about the national side's apparent footballing 'success'?

A GROUP of rugby players are worried about a teammate after seeing him drinking a glass of warm piss on his own.

GOLF fans are insisting that the Ryder Cup is a tense, explosive contest that will have even the golf-averse on the edge of their seats.

A MAN is a devoted fan of American sports and nobody has the slightest idea why.

HOLA, this is the Special One, Jose Mourinho and I'm here to teach you how be a proper miserable sod.

UNITED manager Jose Mourinho increasingly resembles the Scooby-Doo caretaker who has found gold on the premises, players have claimed.

THE start of the new football season has led football fans to try new ways of subjecting themselves to pain and misery.

A BLOODY cyclist has been going too bloody fast, it has been confirmed.

SHOCKED Tour de France competitors have discovered that poor planning has led to a very mountainous route.