Sport

EXERCISE is great for your mental wellbeing because you can hide from your family and your problems in a cowardly way. Here are the best sports for avoiding real life.

CRICKET is brilliant and if you disagree you are less than a buffoon, according to experts.

CRICKET fans are threatening to rampage through Waitrose, Cath Kidston and SpaceNK wreaking havoc if England win today’s World Cup.

CRICKET: it dates back to 1598, it goes on for days and despite most of the world having no interest England still never wins.

A WOMAN is suffering the alien sensation of claiming to be very proud of a national team she is actually very, very angry with.

THE England women’s team’s progression to the semi-final is proof that men are the real victims of sexism now, according to idiots.

THE release of 2019-20’s Premier League fixtures means a Manchester United supporter can diarise when he will be a complete nightmare to be around.

A MALE football fan has read four day’s worth of coverage of the FIFA Women’s World Cup and is now an expert, he has confirmed.

A MUM can see no valid reason for spending a huge part of her life watching small children’s totally inconsequential sporting events.

A MAN who claims women’s football is slow and lacking in action also thinks men hitting tiny balls with sticks for hours is utterly fascinating.