A NEW Premier League season has begun, but which club deserves to win it most and will therefore inevitably triumph?
Carolyn Ryan, ghostwriter: “Er, Arsenal came second the last two years so they’ll come first this year? I don’t know if you’ve seen graphs?”
Margaret Gerving, retired: “It should go to whoever has the fewest red and yellow cards. That’ll take the smile off the faces of the smug f**kers who thought it was about winning matches.”
Stephen Malley, hotelier: “As a Man City fan, it has to be us. It’ll really point up the contrast when we wake up next year in League One and our success was but a 17-year dream.”
Roy Hobbs, badger culler: “Ipswich are sponsored by Ed Sheeran and he always goes in at number one. So it’ll be us unless Adele suddenly sponsors Spurs.”
Jack Browne, vape shop manager: “If it’s about moral superiority, then Liverpool. They are football’s Jesus.”
