CHARISMATIC Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp is leaving the club at the end of the season. What now for the club and the city?
Norman Steele, security guard: “A return to our good old-fashioned prejudices, singing ‘aye aye ippy the Germans bombed our chippy’ and that. We’ve had nine years off, that’s plenty.”
Nikki Hollis, eyebrow threader: “Klopp described his style as ‘heavy metal football’, so we owe it to him to carry that on. Put Rob Halford of Judas Priest in the hot seat.”
Grace Wood-Morris, student: “I don’t see why there’s a problem. That’s why we’ve got Everton as a back-up, otherwise one city wouldn’t have two clubs. We’ll take their manager.”
Oliver O’Connor, chef: “I mean if there was ever a case for AI this is it. Scan Jurgen, feed in all his management decisions, AI Jurgen. Klopp-1000. I don’t know what to f**king call it, I’m a chef.”
Joanna Kramer, ferry captain: “Hear me out. Why not simply Ringo Starr?”
