HULL City owner Assem Allam plans a dildo-themed rebrand for the club, it has emerged.
After supporters rejected ‘Hull Tigers’ on the basis they aren’t an ice hockey team, the Hull Dildoes was suggested on the basis the fans can go fuck themselves.
Allam said: The new crest will be three gleaming synthetic dongs pointing heavenwards, and our shirt sponsors will be Ann Summers.
I previously suggested I would walk away from the club if they opposed the Tigers name change they may wish I had when they see the new mascot, which is decidedly child unfriendly.
Allam hopes to make Hull more marketable, removing ‘City’ from their name so the team currently lying 13th in the league with Tom Huddlestone in their side isn’t confused with title contenders Manchester City.
Supporters have opposed the move, arguing that a multimillionaire was not allowed to rename something they love just because he owns it.
Allam responded by renaming his family mansion ‘Dr Pisswicket’s House Of Pancakes’ and his Rolls Royce ‘The Egret Of Solitude’.
He said: If this doesn’t work I’ll start renaming the staff and we’ll see how Steve Bruce likes being called SausageNose Titclister in meetings.