ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson has selected a World Cup team consisting entirely of undead players.
Hodgson, who was expected to mix youth and experience, has decided that using voodoo magic to resurrect Bobby Moore and Stanley Matthews is a safer bet than hoping for goals from Daniel Sturridge.
Reanimated yesterday and taking their first training session this morning, the team’s hunger for glory is matched only by their appetite for living flesh.
Hodgson said: “You can’t beat the old lads. We’ve got Nat Lofthouse and Jackie Milburn up front, Duncan Edwards in midfield and in goal Bert Trautmann, who qualifies through residency.
“They’re very disciplined in training. Never talk back and the weight’s just falling off them.”
Odds on the team, who will begin matches by clawing their way from beneath the turf as the national anthem is played backwards, have been cut to 4/1.
The press conference concluded as Hodgson’s head was ripped from his shoulders by the zombie of Brian Clough, back from the grave to do the job unfairly denied him in life.
