MAURICIO Pochettino will today reluctantly agree to earn eight figures for doing a shit job as Chelsea manager until November.
The manager, who has already won nothing with Tottenham and the bare minimum at Paris Saint-Germain, has agreed to take over at Chelsea because he had nothing much on this year and the money will come in handy.
He said: “Sometimes, when you’re asked to bank a mighty fee for an abortive and short stint in a money pit, you just have to sigh, bow your head and reluctantly accept it’s your turn.
“God knows I don’t want to be Chelsea manager. Nobody does. ‘Give it to one of these young ones,’ I said. ‘Let Jaissle from Red Bull Salzburg have a go.’ But they thought I was playing hard to get, doubled the fee and added a huge dismissal package.
“‘Come on,’ I said. ‘Surely there’s better than me out there.’ They showed me the next name on the shortlist and it was Brendan Rodgers.
“So I’m in. I’m pretty confident I can keep them up. We’ll blow a few hundred million in the summer on players I’ve weakly argued against, hang around the top four until autumn and then I’ll be sacked after a run of shit results and be my own man again.
“Nobody understands the pressure top managers are under. Still, at least it’s not Spurs.”
