THERE is slightly less than a week to go until England can be certain whether Gareth Southgate is a national treasure or a disgrace.
Having narrowly scraped through against Slovakia, England now faces an agonising wait to determine whether manager Gareth Southgate should be pelted with even more beer cups or carried through the streets like the second coming of Christ.
Three Lions supporter Steve Malley said: “And there I was thinking he’s a stubborn shithead for keeping Cole Palmer on the bench for so long. Shows what I know. They should put his face on bank notes.
“Clearly he’s lulling the opposition into a false sense of security by telling Kane and the boys to play terribly until the last possible moment. It’s obviously all part of his genius scheming, and we are simply his ignorant pawns.
“I expect Southgate was laughing like a supervillain in the locker room at half-time. The groundwork of his master plan had been successfully laid, now all he had to do was make fans needlessly shit themselves during extra time.
“Of course if we lose to Switzerland then he’s been a clueless f**kwit all along and I’ll burn my waistcoat.
“Either way I’ll claim to have been right about him the entire time.”
