Politics

A MAN who claimed voting for Labour would drag the country back to the 1970s is happy with rising inflation and an unheated home when the Tories do it.

TEMPTED to dabble with drugs? Here Conservative MP Martin Bishop explains why it’s fine when he and his chums do it, but obviously not for you plebs.

WONDERING which cretins keep supporting Johnson? These are the five types of moron who will vote for him come the next election.

THE Labour Party has denied claims by the working classes that they have quit Labour out of disillusionment, saying it was Labour who split with them first.

HAVE you been blindsided by having a trans Conservative MP when you thought only trendy lefties and confused teenagers went in for that nonsense? Here are the five stages of coping.

THE prime minister was caught throwing an impromptu 120-person party with cheese, wine and a karaoke machine at Westminster Abbey yesterday.

THE British public has inconveniently called to mind that people holding parties in lockdown were frequently fined £10,000, not £100.

RISHI Sunak is to announce his mini-budget today. Will it ease the fears of worried British citizens or basically just tell them to get f**ked? Here he explains what to expect:

THAT morning in 2016 will stay with me for the rest of my life. Strafed by Brussels’s Stukas, I weaved desperately down the country lines to the polling station.

PRITI Patel will be present as immigration officers arrest and deport Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, whose arrival in the UK she considers ‘deeply suspicious’.