Politics

THE sunlit uplands Boris Johnson and the Tories promised were a lie. Obviously. It’s Boris Johnson. But there are genuine upsides to Brexit:

BRITAIN’S prime minister and America’s president have cemented the special relationship between their countries with an evening of wife-swapping. 

THE people of St Ives are unfazed as yet another twat from London has visited their sleepy coastal town, they have revealed.

THE UK is uniformly delighted that after years of not doing this American White House First Lady bollocks, we now apparently are.

I’m a successful man in his 50s who recently married his girlfriend, but only because work made me.

BORIS Johnson has placed an advertisement for the vacant position of mistress to the prime minister in the Sunday Times. 

CARRIE Symonds, as a PR professional and divorcé’s nightmare, writes daily letters to newspapers which are intercepted and burned. Here are a few of them: 

DOMINIC Cummings has damned Boris Johnson by saying tens of thousands of people needlessly died. If you’re a diehard Boris supporter, here’s how to pretend he’s still great.

NOT been paying attention to the news for the last few years? Here are all the reasons the health secretary should have been given the boot long ago.

ACCORDING to Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson is not fit to be prime minister. Yes, and these other seven jobs: