Politics

DESPITE recent defeats in by-elections, the Conservative party isn’t going to magically disappear anytime soon. Here’s how to live with this deadly strain of politics.

THE prime minister has decided to take a massive gamble with Britain’s health by ending all restrictions as cases are soaring. But why?

REPLACING GB stickers on cars with UK is the latest thing culture war dickheads are up in arms about. Roy Hobbs suggests more minor issues to be outraged by.

REGRETTABLY and for no apparent reason, I have split up with my wife Sarah Vine. So here’s how I plan to get back in the dating game and take a beauty home every night.

THE prime minister has announced that the electorate of Batley and Spen can orally pleasure him after last night’s by-election result. 

CONFUSED about why the Batley and Spen by-election is so controversial and why there are so many wankers involved? Read our Q&A.

A BREXITER hopes to hear no more foolishness about the wisdom of leaving the EU after last night’s England game.

SAJID Javid is unable to look at that part of his new office without almost vomiting, he has confirmed.

MATT Hancock has taunted his former boss by calling him from the bed he shares with his new girlfriend while not handling a pandemic.

HAVE you seen the Matt Hancock photo? Feel tainted? Worried you’ll never find the idea of sexual intercourse appealing again? Cleanse your soul with these tips: