Politics

LET'S face it, Brexiters often seemed confused about what they were voting for. Here are some questions puzzling them about post-Brexit Britain. 

BORIS Johnson has decided to bring forward his wedding to Carrie Symonds to two o’clock this afternoon, he has announced.

BORIS Johnson has told the British public that his ex is a crazy bitch and they should not believe any of his made-up stories.

MILLIONS who hated lying bastard Dominic Cummings for years are ready to believe anything he says now he is slagging off Boris Johnson.

THE government has apologised for forgetting to announce eight variant Covid hotspots, that democracy is suspended and all drugs are legalised.

SHAKESPEARE. Bill Shakespeare. William Wordsworth Shakespeare. Am I at the wordcount yet? Blast. Have these chapter outlines and give me some money.

AS the country reopens and venues are once again filled with young punters, I, Matt Hancock, have set out a guide to maintaining a high level of vigilance when you’re five pints deep.

BORIS Johnson has got a county court judgement against him for an unpaid debt, same as I have. Here is my guide to some of the things it will stop him doing:

THE Labour party is wondering if it should not just cut to the chase and reappoint Tony Blair as leader.

BORIS Johnson has promised freeports will level up the economy and let Britons to dump all that politically correct nonsense to go back to the 70s.