Politics
The Labour-Falkirk controversy explained
A bullet-point guide to Labour's troubles in a place called 'Falkirk'.
Cuts are my porn, says Osborne
CHANCELLOR George Osborne has revealed that reducing the size of government is a hugely erotic experience.
Miliband touching cloth
FALLING unemployment and signs of economic recovery have left Ed Miliband dangerously close to self-befoulment.
Bilderberg Group meets to decide next season's hemlines
THE all-powerful Bilderberg Group has met to decide whether the puffball skirt will make a comeback in autumn.
Bring back Judy Blume, says Michael Gove
PUPILS should be encouraged to read Judy Blume's classic teen novels about tender sexual awakenings, according to Michael Gove.