Politics

THE brain of Labour leader Ed Miliband is to be transplanted into the body of male model David Gandy.

BRITAIN got two chocolate bars for the price of one following negotiations with a Brussels vending machine, according to George Osborne.

WHO are the men and women hoping to be loathed slightly less than David Cameron?

BRITONS are to receive crude 1940s-style propaganda from the Conservative party.

The prime minister has confirmed that all his t-shirts are ethically manufactured by his wife.

THE Labour party has pledged to renew its unbridled contempt for Scottish voters.

THE jogger who triggered David Cameron’s poison glands is being cared for at home by relatives.

THE government has announced tough new penalties for individuals using sarcasm online.

LABOUR leader Ed Miliband is still technically on work experience and has yet to receive a wage.

UKIP is attracting thousands of Labour voters who have rejected mainstream politics and rational thought.