Politics

Women ‘should be banned’

WOMEN are too much trouble and should be banned, UKIP leader Nigel Farage has claimed.

Earth's crust full of Romanians, says Cameron

DAVID Cameron has urged voters to embrace fracking as a way of flushing Romanians out of the ground.

Michael Gove's history lesson

MR GOVE corrects your misconceptions about everything that has ever happened.

MPs convinced pay rise will be a vote-winner

MEMBERS of Parliament are sure their 11 percent pay rise will eventually be seen as a political masterstroke.

George Osborne to announce cuts while covered in diamonds

GEORGE Osborne is to announce multi-billion pound service cuts with more than 16,000 white diamonds glued to his body.

Energy debate halted by blackout

ENERGY executives have escaped a grilling after a power cut at the Houses of Parliament.

Gumshoe Ed Davey vows to solve energy company mystery

ENERGY Secretary Ed Davey has turned detective to find out why bills for gas and electricity are rising so sharply.

Clegg to form one-man party

NICK Clegg is to break away from the Liberal Democrats to form a party called Nick.

New cabinet told to have more affairs

THE Prime Minister has instructed his new cabinet to initiate high-profile sex scandals.

David Cameron owns machine

THE prime minister has a machine and it makes bread.