ED Miliband has introduced Britain to ‘Keith’, his invisible working class friend.
The Labour leader revealed that he and Keith had been lifelong friends after meeting under a tree in the Milibands’ back garden when they were both nine years-old.
He said: “Me and Keith enjoy the football matches, the lager and those sandwiches that have lots of bacon in them.”
Miliband nodded and laughed before adding: “Keith was just saying that I’m a ‘twat’ when it comes to the sandwiches. That’s very Keith.
“He also said that life under the coalition is really awful and I’m the only person who understands.”
Miliband nodded again, while looking serious, and then said: “Keith was just telling me that some friends of his had been thinking of voting UKIP until he told them what a great guy I was. Thanks, chief.”
The Labour leader then held his right arm out as if it was around someone’s shoulder and added: “Keith and I are also working on a new law to stop decent boozers going all poncey.”