ALEX Salmond’s advisors are split on how much thigh he should reveal for Tuesday’s televised debate.
The jowly demagogue hoped to woo voters with a micro-kilt, but the plan has been thrown into doubt after focus groups reacted with horror to close-ups of his spider veins.
‘Yes’ campaigner Carolyn Ryan said: “Alex is proud of his tiny kilt, and even prouder of his toned and tanned buttocks.
“But we want the public to focus on our core message of freedom and prosperity, not Alex’s beefy quads.”
The Better Together campaign has been spooked by Salmond’s plans to use his sexuality, and will send Alistair Darling onstage wearing a pair of Union Jack budgie-smugglers.
