Politics

FORMER prime minister John Major has claimed the SNP is like Edwina Currie, but in a bad way.

SELF-SATISFIED Steiner couples are totally behind the Green Party, it has emerged.

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.

ED Miliband has unveiled a raft of policies aimed at drunk women after high-level talks with a hen party.

A 21-YEAR-OLD student has refused to make any tiresome excuses for not voting.

ED Miliband and Nicola Sturgeon have once again failed to fully explore their emotional wants and needs.

RICHARD Desmond has boosted UKIP's election campaign with a £1m donation generated by breasts.

NICK Clegg has confirmed his role in any future coalition will be The Gimp.

HARD-WORKING British families will be driving Golf Cabriolets and wearing white socks if the Conservatives are re-elected.

THE Green Party has been told to withdraw its manifesto after it claimed oil would eventually run out.