Politics

THE nation is not remotely surprised to hear that its leader shoved his penis into the mouth of a dead pig.

SCOTLAND is today celebrating one year since absolutely nothing happened and everything stayed exactly the same.

THE affair between Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott was the most 70s thing that happened in the 70s, it has been claimed.

JEREMY Corbyn's two-minute silent walk, as shown on Sky News, is to be expanded into an 18-hour black-and-white experimental film.

A MAN who defied expectations to get elected definitely could not win an election, it has been confirmed.

THE #Tories4Corbyn campaign has greeted its candidate’s victory by vowing to back him all the way to the general election.

NEW Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has given his acceptance speech dressed in a black leather uniform while flanked by armed henchmen.

JEREMY Corbyn has held a small gathering with 12 of his closest supporters ahead of his crucifixion on Sunday evening.

JEREMY Corbyn has been deserted in droves by young Labour fans bored of his radical beard thing.

UKIP’S EU referendum campaign will feature proper British xenophobia and classic, ad-libbed racism, Nigel Farage has promised.